I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
