I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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