just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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