the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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