well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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