i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
