We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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