I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
