using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
