fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
