If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
