Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
