If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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