It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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