She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
