I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
