I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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