you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
