I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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