i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
