The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
