I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
