Pappa wants mamma naked
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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