if you like me you must not know who I am
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
