jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i now understand why vodka
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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