dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Less talking, more tequila
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
