just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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