he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
