i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
