Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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