Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
