What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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