I smell stomach acid.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
