Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
