i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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