Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
