i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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