my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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