I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's shark week go big or go home
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
