So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
