Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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