there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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