I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
