either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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