I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
