Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
