CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
