But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
