ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
