Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
